Just Lauren

Anytime I thought about writing a blog post, I got this feeling like I was fake, like my writing would be inauthentic. My guess is the feeling came from finishing the one year of posting. It may not make much sense, but there it is. I was also just really lacking in motivation or inspiration.

But for the past week or so I’ve been wanting to write again. I’ve been getting the itch to type something. I wasn’t sure I was going to write a “where I was” post but here I am. Hopefully these posts will be few and far between and I can start writing good quality stuff again. Or at least, something more interesting than this.

I’m doing pretty well right now in my life. I’m not as stressed as I was back in August. August was a really rough month for me where I was anxious, depressed, or stressed every single day. It built up until I had a bit of a burst and ended up having an honest conversation with my supervisor. After that work has been much better for me and way more manageable. I still get stressed sometimes and am trying to figure out how to manage that, but it’s not nearly as frequent or as intense at it was.

Pippin seems to be growing slightly more mature. He’s not as insane as he used to be, although he does still have his moments. He’s such a cutie, I’m really falling in love with the little guy. He cuddles with me each night from around 6AM to when I get up. Although it is sweet, sometimes it gets tiring because he can’t keep still and he continues to walk back and forth over me. This morning he stepped on my throat and stopped my breathing for a second. What am I going to do with him?!

The only other thing that’s major in my life right now is that my grandpa isn’t doing well, health-wise. No one can predict the future, but knowing that he will die one day is very saddening. I know death is a normal thing and an inevitable thing, but when it’s so close to me, it’s quite sad. My mom will be going to visit in November and staying for as long as she is needed. That at least will be a good thing for my grandparents I think.

So that’s it I suppose. I’m not promising anything because I can’t seem to get myself to that point quite yet, but I do want to write more. I’m still alive, overall I’m doing really well, and I want to spread happiness and my random thoughts to the world again. Here’s to the future!