Generally, I don’t put on make-up, wear fashionable clothes, or put much effort into my hair. But sometimes, I get into these moods where I wish I did all those things and that I did them well.
I’ve never really been into make-up, but I used to wear some almost everyday.I used to straighten my hair on a regular basis. And every so often I’d try to dress what I considered fashionable.
Then I met Gene. He helped me realize that I don’t need make-up to be pretty. So at some point some years back, I just stopped wearing it everyday. Now I go months without putting even mascara or powder on. It’s a great time saver and perfect for the lazy person that I’ve become. I want to sleep in as much as possible before having to get up for work and doing make-up and my hair would mean I’d have to get up earlier. So it’s worked out well for me that I don’t do those things.
And yet, I still have those times when I wish I did my make up and I wish I had “nicer” clothes and I wish my hair would just freaking cooperate. I struggle because I feel like I only have these desires because of media and social queues. And that makes me angry because I don’t think any female should feel the need to wear make up or high heels or whatever every day to feel beautiful.
And it makes me angry at myself for wanting to dress up or put on eyeshadow. By doing that, I’m part of the problem. I’m helping enforce in little girls’ minds that you need to do these things. And you don’t!
In the end, I usually ignore the impulse to put on make up or buy new clothes. I don’t have much spending money and I find that make up and clothes cost more than I’m willing to spend. I don’t really like shopping that often either so that helps prevent me from purchasing those kinds of items.
But I still struggle with what to do. I hate that at times I feel like I would be prettier with make up on. I hate that because that thought is ridiculous. It should not be a thought that I have. But there it is.
Is it wrong to wear make-up? No. If you enjoy it and don’t mind doing it and it makes you feel better, go for it. But I don’t think women or men should wear make up solely because they think it makes them look better.
Now when I put on make-up, I feel slightly guilty. I feel that a part of me is betraying girls and women. I feel like I’m betraying myself, that I’m telling myself I’m not beautiful.
I think what I’m trying to say in this blog is that I have conflicting feelings and that although the “non make-up” side has won so far, what will happen if the “make-up” side wins one day? Will that change me?
I’m probably thinking too much into this. If you want to wear make-up, go for it. If you don’t want to wear make-up, go for it. Whatever you do, I hope that you are confident in yourself and love yourself.
/end crazy cheesy rant