Just Lauren

My feelings hit me kind of hard today. I don’t know if it’s because I took a benadryl last night and I woke up kinda groggy. Or because I didn’t really have plans today so my mind was allowed to wander more than normal. Or if there’s no reason at all. But I’ve felt sad a lot today. Really sad.

I’ve been working through it as I know I’ll heal faster if I think about and through my feelings and think about the memories instead of blocking them. At the same time, I’m working on acknowledging the positive aspects to my current situation and acknowledging that I can handle my life. I’m also supposed to think about how to solve my problems rather than dwelling on them. It’s a lot to remember when I’m feeling sad, of course, but I’m getting better at it.

Elisabeth bought us a tv and for the past two days we tried to figure out how to mount it. It wasn’t that the mount was the issue, it was that the studs in the wall were the issue. We couldn’t quite find them. The stud finder I had bought at Target wasn’t giving us consistent answers. So we bought another stud finder. It gave us similar answers but didn’t help us determine how wide the studs were. We spent until 9:15pm last night trying to feel confident enough about where the studs were. We didn’t get to that confident place. We asked our maintenance staff if they could help us find studs but for liability reasons they cannot and so we have determined that we need to buy ourselves a tv stand and return the mount. Bummer. It’s not what we wanted but we’re rolling with it. it’s what I do these days, roll with life as best I can.

Today I went to the community garden to water my plants (really trying to do the every other day thing if I can) and wandered around the other plots as I soaked up the sun. I then went to James A. Bible park, as it was nearby, and strolled for a bit. I know being outdoors is good for my mood so I’m proud of myself for getting out there. I think an evening walk might be in order too. And today I was able to keep all of the balcony doors open…all day…because at least for today it isn’t 90 plus degrees outside. I was actually cold this morning, it was such a nice change.

Also, I have an interview next week with a company that I’m actually pretty excited about so I’d like to brag about that. Job hunting and not having a job has been stressful off and on for me so getting interviews reminds me that there are companies out there interested in who I am. It helps keep me positive.

And finally, Pippin has been really adorable the past few days so I’ve been taking lots of pictures of him, so enjoy my favorites sprinkled throughout this post.