Life decides to continue hitting me in the face. For the past month I have been working with doctors to figure out why my platelets are extremely low (last numbers I had were 25, they’re supposed to be minimum 150). I was hoping it was just an error in the labs but many blood tests later and two visits to a specialist and while no one knows why my platelets are so low, everyone agrees that they are. Bummer. I’ve never experienced an unknown health issue before like this so I feel scared and stressed sometimes. I have started on steroids in hopes that my body decided to fight itself for some random reason and by lowering my immune system my body can kind of reset. I’m thinking that this is a reaction my body had from the whole divorce situation but who can really say. Regardless of the reason, I just want this to be over with. I have to go in every week now for the next four weeks to give blood. With that said, the staff at this specialist office has been great. And, I’m extremely proud of myself because the first time I went there I gave EIGHT vials of blood. That’s the most I’ve ever given in one go and I felt a bit scared but I also knew that I could do it and telling myself that really helped.
For the most part I don’t think about this new issue in my life because most likely I’ll be okay and I can handle it. But, I do have to say I’ve taken the steroids only three days now and I’m already sick of them. I have a harder time sleeping, I have a higher chance of feeling sick and getting heartburn, oh, and I am moody. What a lovely combination when I’ve just started a new job and am already dealing with waking up in the middle of the night and already dealing with being moody because of this divorce. Come on, life!
So I’m chugging along as best I can. It’s not all miserable. Elisabeth and I walked to a Mexican restaurant yesterday for dinner which was lovely. I checked out two comics from the library and am enjoying them so far. I ate lunch outside. I’m finding that my natural tendency is to focus on the negatives rather than the positives so what a great opportunity for me to grow in that area of my life. This is really my chance to gain confidence and pride in myself and to continue to live the best, happiest life I can. This health scare reminded me that I am not ready to die nor do I want to but I can’t know when that day will come so I want to do what I can to enjoy myself every moment.
That means I’m going to get off this blog post, maybe eat a bowl of dessert cereal, and watch some Great British Bake Off.