1-11-20

My platelets were low again yesterday. It’s something my physician’s assistant said could happen with this treatment, but since they were normal last week, I was expecting them to be normal again. It sucked that they weren’t. It’s really hard not knowing what is wrong or if this treatment will fix the issue. I have to keep reminding myself to take one moment at a time and enjoy life as much as possible. I am surrounded by support and medical staff who are here to help. My mom surprised me and showed up at my treatment yesterday, it was good to have her there. One more session to go and then I wait and see if my body can take things over from there. Waiting for something truly is more difficult than the actual thing. That’s why I try not to think about my platelets too much, nothing I can do right now.

The divorce also didn’t go through yesterday like I was hoping. I ended up calling the court to see what was up and the woman said most likely the judge’s decision will be input on Monday. So I’ll check again on Monday and see. I felt frustrated and angry because I’m so ready for this to be done and while I can wait three more days and I can wait one more week, I don’t want to. Nothing I can do about this situation either but wait so here I am.

I went out to dinner with Brittany yesterday at Yardhouse. It was supposed to be a celebration that my divorce went through but since that didn’t happen it was more of a “It’s okay, you got this” dinner. I needed it and turns out Brittany needed it too so it was still very beneficial for both of us. I even ordered myself an alcoholic drink and drank most of it. Turns out I still don’t like the taste of alcohol so my trend of not purchasing alcohol will continue. I got a Beyond burger for my meal and was very pleased with how it tasted. Let this fake meat trend continue because companies are getting really good at it. I think it was just as good, if not better, than a hamburger. I also treated myself to dessert – a brownie with toasted marshmallows on top. Holy moly was it so delicious, I couldn’t believe it.

After dinner, Brittany surprised me with homemade apple muffins as a pick me up. I felt so loved, the fact that she took the time to get ingredients and bake me muffins made my day. How am I so privileged to have friends and family that want to spend time with me and make me things? I have such a wonderful life. Brittany and I walked around Park Meadows Mall for a bit because that’s where we ate, and it was so pleasant just wandering around chatting and remembering how I used to do this as a teenager. I went home after that, ate some more of my leftover brownie, and watched You’ve Got Mail, because the movie had popped into my head a day or two ago and I thought it was a good time to watch it. I quite enjoyed it.

So my day wasn’t exactly how I wanted it to go but it ended on a really positive and loving note. I’m feeling fairly optimistic today, life is good.

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