10-18-20 Dating

I am dating Shari.

I didn’t know how to build up to that piece of information so I decided to start with it. Life is weird and fascinating and wonderful and unpredictable and sometimes I have to jump headfirst into the cold water and see what happens. So here I go.

My friend, now girlfriend, Shari, and I have been dating for a couple of months now and made it official a couple of weeks ago. I held back from sharing this with most people until I felt more steady and on more stable ground. Because, well, I thought I was 100% straight, so what did it mean I liked a woman? How long would my feelings last? I always assumed I was straight, I had never had a crush on a woman before (that I am aware of), so it took me a while to confirm that my feelings were real and weren’t going away. Then, when we started dating, I wanted to make sure that this was something I really did enjoy and want before I shared with the world.

And so here I am. I like her. She’s really cool, spending time with her is pleasant and enjoyable. I can’t hide who I am. I won’t. I did that previously, and I won’t do it again. Even though it was scary to tell my family and my closest friends, I did it. I understand it will take time for people to get used to the idea that the image they had of me is no longer 100% accurate. But people are constantly changing, I just do it in bigger, faster chunks sometimes. That’s who I am. 🙂 It’s scary thinking about telling other friends and coworkers but I’ll do it eventually because there’s nothing wrong with me liking her and being with her.

It’s kind of frustrating. If I was dating a guy right now, I wouldn’t be writing up this multi-paragraph post. Well, I mean, maybe I would, I do like to write, so it’s possible. 😉 But it wouldn’t be the same. I wouldn’t feel the need to justify myself or explain. And that frustrates me. All I should need to say is, “I like this person and we’re dating,” and that’s that. And people would respond with, “That’s cool, I’m glad you’re happy. When can we all hang out?” It saddens me that we’re not living in that kind of world, but I will do my part to move us towards that kind of world.

I don’t know what this means for my sexual orientation. Honestly, I’m not worrying about that or spending any time thinking about it. Because it doesn’t matter. But I know that if you haven’t asked me that question yet, you’re thinking it. So I’m putting that out there.

What matters is me showing Shari that I care about her and enjoying myself in this relationship. She’s really funny. And smart. And she truly cares about me. I really like laughing with her. And I think each one of you reading this would like her and will like her if you ever get the chance to meet her (and I hope you do).

So. I’m in a relationship again. It’s weird. It’s fun. And I wanted to share. Introducing: me and Shari: ❤

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